Sunday, November 30, 2008
2. Why do people keep giving Norv Turner head coaching gigs? Is his record anywhere above .500 as a head coach? Note to NFL teams, Turner is a great offensive coordinator, and a poor head coach.
3. Charlie Weis. Offensive guru. Not quite so much without Belichick's camera crew stealing defensive signals, is he?
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
My good friend Jamie and myself are taking on this highly important discussion, to delve into the depths of stuff that Mormons like. Both being Mormon, we hope to one day be regarded as the foremost experts in the field, and hopefully some day recieve honorary doctorates in the field.
Sunday, August 24, 2008
This link, my friends, is a blog that exposes how disappointing we here in the U.S. have performed this Olympics. Basically, we here in the U.S. like to count our total number of medals, while everyone who wants to champion the cause of the benevolent host country points to how horribly we've performed in the Gold medal count. You know what though?
What gold medals has China won? Can you name me two other Olympic events that they have won medals in other than anything having to do with 12, oh, whoops, I mean 16 year old gymnasts? Times up! Don't feel bad, I couldn't either, so I decided to look up China's gold medal count to see how many of them are real medals, and how many are "fake". Not sure what I mean? You'll see.
Real or Fake: Real
Prestige level: 2/5
Personally, this is probably a real sport, but women's wrestling is way too scary to comprehend. When I was an assistant wrestling coach, you know what terrified the JV's more than anything? Having to be the wrestler to fight the girl. We can have women's wrestling, but we're really getting rid of women's softball? Hmmmmmm...
Table Tennis (4)
Real or Fake: VERY fake
Prestige level: -1
Now, you will run into people who will say "You don't understand! This sport is amazing! It requires nerves of steel, and lighting fast reflexes." Yeah. You can also play it drunk with your buddies in a garage on Saturday night, thus failing the litmus test of being a real sport. - 4 medals to the hosts. By the way, it's called PING fricking PONG.
Taekwondo, Fencing, Judo (3), Boxing (2)
Real or Fake: Real
Prestige Level: 4/5
These are all real, but I have to say, for being the country where the famed Shaolin Monks reside, I feel that China actually underperformed in the martial arts. C'mon China, step it up!
Men's weightlifting (4)
Real or Fake: Real
Prestige Level: 4/5
Real. Men lifting heavy things. Good
Women's weightlifting (4)
Real or Fake: Real (sort of)
Prestige level: 1/5
I only fear for their life after weightlifting. This is just wrong. Again, we can have women's weightlifting, but not women's softball? And as far as women's weightlifting goes, I actually count it as a victory for our country when we don't win a medal in this event. (Sorry to the female olympians who have, please don't crush me).
Archery, Sailing, Canoe/Kayak, Rowing
Real or Fake: Real
Prestige level: 1/5
Unless you're splitting arrows ala Robin Hood, I've never seen anyone set their DVRs to catch archery. And sailing? This is what John Kerry did to show America how "athletic" and "in touch" he was with the common man. Oh wait, that was windsurfing...Still, quite foofy. Sorry China, file these under "who cares".
Real or Fake: So, so fake
Prestige level: -2
Shuttlecock! 'Nuff said.
But seriously, even if you count Badminton as a real sport (Shuttlecock!), has there ever been a country that has been inspired to greatness because of their proud Badminton tradition?
Country A: We will march upon you and vanquish you all! None shall survive!
Country B: We will not die like dogs, but we will fight like lions!
Country A: Have you forgotten our proud tradition and skills in BADMINTON!!!!
Country B: FLEE!!!!!
Country A: Ready the shuttlecocks!!!!!!!
Men's gymnastics (7)
Real or Fake: Real
I've never understood why men's gymnastics isn't as popular as women's, but it's not. I will say this. China is just stinking good at men's gymnastics.
Real or Fake: Real (sort of)
So, it's real, and it's prestigious, so why the "sort of"? STOP SENDING 12 YEAR OLDS TO COMPETE CHINA! NO ONE BELIEVES YOU! I WANT THOSE ATHLETES CARBON DATED! 12! 12! 12!
Real or fake: Fake (sorry!)
I watched trampoline. It is amazing. It is also a fake event. If you are in a bar fight, bragging about your country's superiority, you never pull the "Look how amazing we are at trampoline!" card. That would be like a comic book nerd trying to pick up a hot chick by bragging up his complete collection of Star Trek: The Next Generation DVDs. It just isn't done. By the way, we have a trampoline in our backyard. If we own a trampoline, it cannot be an olympic sport.
Real or fake: Real
Diving is the chick flick of the olympics. Chicks love to watch, and guys, wanting to please their mates, follow along, not suffering too badly, but never admiting they'd watch it by themselves. Never would a guy say "Hey brah, I just saw 27 Dresses last weekend! It was sick! Catherine Heigl was the effing bomb!!!". Nor should countries brag about their diving prowess. Own it, but let it go.
Real or fake: Real guns, real. Air (read: bb) guns, fake.
Prestige: 2/5 for real guns, -1/5 for bb guns
Listen, if this were about real shooting, ain't nobody going to beat the U.S. In fact, I propose fully automatic shooting for the next olympics. We can recruit inner city youth, and I guarantee we would be tops in the world for London in 2012. Now, I was shocked to find out that shooting bb guns was an olympic sport. Sorry, ping pong and bb guns go hand in hand. What's the litmus test for this one? Does the 12 year old red-head on my block use a discus to shoot pigeons? No. Does he use an air (read: bb) gun to shoot them? Yes? Not an olympic sport.
So, yes, we will lose the gold medal count, but if anyone in the coming weeks following the olympics dares bring up how the U.S. lost this medal count to China, I have a retort for you.
Pedestrian A: Ha! The U.S. lost the gold medal count to Ch...
Pedestrian B: SHUTTLECOCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Friday, August 22, 2008
Yes, it is a blog, from the perspective of a cat. Crazy cat ladies have entered the blogosphere. The best part? It's name is Princess Kitty Smoosh Face. There are only 3 entries, but those three entries have affected me in profound ways.
Like helping me decide that I will never own a cat.
Wednesday, August 20, 2008
For those to lazy to click a link:
Every judging break seems to have gone China's way during these Olympics. I'm
not suggesting a conspiracy, I just think that judges are humans who are
influenced by big names, fans and other external factors. Oh, and they're also
terrible. Judged events will always be viewed with skepticism by those who lose
for this reason, particularly those who lose to a member of the home delegation.
(Think Roy Jones Jr. at the 1988 Seoul Olympics.)
It is because of this skewed inconsistency that Fourth-Place Medal introduces The Real 2008 Medal Count. Our medal count will tally medals won in sports decided on the field of play, not by a judge in a teal blazer. The judged Olympic events we will ignore for our tally are: boxing, diving, equestrian, gymnastics, judo, taekwondo, trampoline and wrestling. We debated whether to include boxing, wrestling and the martial arts in the list, as they can be decided by competitors. However, because the
judging is prone to error and shenaningans, we will include it.
The Real 2008 Medal Count
China: 22 gold; 11 silver; 11 bronze
United States: 21 gold;
19 silver; 21 bronze
This second article is by one of my favorite essayists, formerly of Sports Illustrated and currently employed by ESPN, Rick Reilly. He highlights some of the glaring ways that China's poor human rights record has been swept under the rug for their "coming out party". And it's funny! The format doesn't permit me to reprint the the entire article, so just do yourself a favor and click here:http://sports.espn.go.com/espnmag/story?id=3542649
Anyways, I hope you're enjoying the olympics (MICHAEL FREAKIN' PHELPS!!!) as much as we are. Go U.S.A.!!!
Sunday, July 20, 2008
Friday, July 18, 2008
Friday, July 11, 2008
Wednesday, July 9, 2008
Sports Illustrated ran this cover following the Celtics win:
Note, it says, "How Danny Ainge revived a great franchise." Not KG, not Paul Pierce, not Ray Allen. Danny Ainge. That's right. P.S., he's Mormon.
Okay, exhibit #2:
This is taken from a prgram that I happened to find in a mountain of memorabilia that I have. When I was back at BYU, for two seasons I worked as an usher courtside at the Cougars home basketball games. I happened to be working when Danny Ainge had his jersey retired. Well, on top of that, he was sitting about 10 feet away from me the whole time. Now, I like Danny Ainge. Mormon hoopster, the preeminent player in BYU history (sorry Shawn Bradley), a key piece in the Celtics championship teams, a one time Phoenix Suns player and coach. How could I pass up the opportunity? Yes, I became one of those annoying autograph hounds, but I had the perfect piece of memorabilia, and opportunity. I hope it's my last time ever. I walked over to him, and humbly told him I was a big fan (ugh), and he graciously, if somewhat bemusedly, signed my program.
Let me ask you this. How many championships did Danny Ainge win as a G.M. before I got his signature, hmmmm??? Yeah, that's what I thought. None.
The House Of Milo claims part of the Celtics championship for partial albino dreamers everywhere.
Wednesday, June 25, 2008
(Greetings / Hello there! / Rot in hell!) I am a humble teacher in the Clark County School District here in Southern Nevada, which by the time you read this will be the (fifth largest school district in the nation / fourth largest district in the nation / wait a minute, four students just walked into my class).
As you can tell by my (concerned / incendiary / vitriolic) tone, I am writing to you in response to your (short sighted / asinine / !@#$@#% stupid) attempt to repeal the four percent cost of living allowance that we, the (humble / pissed off) public servants of the state were scheduled to get. Now, Governor Gibbons, with (all due respect / a burning hatred that will endure the scorching heat of Hades), I’m not going to talk dollars and cents with you, because (I wouldn’t understand it / you wouldn’t understand it), but there has to be a better way, doesn’t there? I even voted for you, something that many people wouldn’t even own up to now.
I have to say your questionable decisions in the time that you’ve been in office have caused me to (question my decision / cry myself to sleep / flagellate myself with a whip Opus Dei style!) daily. I know that in your eyes educators are (noble in thought and deed / lazy nogoodniks) but your actions (are not consistent with your campaign promises to be education minded / make you look like a simpleton and an idiot).
On a personal note, I hope that your divorce proceedings are (going well / going poorly / giving you what you so richly deserve). Please give my regards to (your mistress / your ex-wife / your other mistress).
In closing, I would just like to say (please do the right thing and keep the COLAs we were promised / good luck getting re-elected / please don’t get drunk and beat any women in any parking garages). Seriously.
With (sincere regards for your political future / a hope that we will make it above the poverty line next year! / a burning rage that makes Naomi Campbell look like Mother Theresa.)
Your Name Here
Tuesday, June 24, 2008
You'll find the tone there decidedly more reverent. Many of my friends are Mormon, but many are not, and I designed this page to share more of my spiritual side. I hope it will become a place for people to ask questions that they might not in other forums, but it's also a reminder that as wacky a guy as I am (read my Paris Hilton review) it is truly my faith that has brought me a ridiculous amount of joy to my life. I'll post the link permanently eventually, and no, there isn't much there yet. I wouldn't be surprised to see some more postings over here at The House explore religious questions as well. Plus, there's pictures of my family over there for anyone thinking they aren't well represented over here (I'm just protecting the innocent!).
Anyways, I hope you enjoy:-)
Friday, June 13, 2008
On MJ/Kobe comparisons:
"So Jay, we're done with this, right? We never, ever, for as long as we live, have to hear Kobe mentioned in the same breath again with his royal airness? Can we make this man law now? Kobe choked harder than Mary Kate Olsen trying to swallow food."
-The Tonight Show with Jay Leno, June 11, 2008
On the Twilight series of books:
"Do I have to turn in my man card, or cut off a corner, for having finished the second Twilight book? By the way, you may be the first person I've ever met with legs whiter than mine...Yes Conan, I'm about 50 pages into the third..."
-The Late Show with Conan O'Brien, June 9, 2008
On allegations of kickbacks from Paris Hilton for a favorable album review:
"That's between me, Paris, my accountant, and Matt Leinert."
Statement made to TMZ.com
On calling a Red Wings victory:
"You're right, it did take some serious cajones for me to call that for the Wings once they were up 3-1 in the Stanley Cup Finals. Do I get some dap for that, Wilbon?"
-Pardon the Interruption, "Five Good Minutes", June 6, 2008
Responding to media criticism regarding Pau Gasol's performance in the NBA Finals:
"That’s why I don’t read the newspaper! Because it’s garbage! And the editor who let it come out is garbage! Attacking Pau Gasol, a pro athlete doing everything right! And then you want to write articles about guys who don’t do things right and downgrade them, the ones that do make plays. Are you kidding me? Where are we at in society today? Come after me! I’m a man! I’m 30!"
-L.A. Lakers postgame press conference, June 12, 2008
On success in the blogosphere:
"How pathetic is it to invent quotes on ones own blog. I would never do that."
-Interview with The House of Milo, February 2008
Saturday, June 7, 2008
Friday, June 6, 2008
Monday, June 2, 2008
Because for every Harry Potter, there has been numberless Spiderwick Chronicles, Eragons, Golden Compasses, and Lemony Snickets which have been unable to capture the popular imagination of enough of us shameless eternal youngsters to be dubbed the next event novel. If I'm going to be berated for reading something targeted at an adolescent, it had best not disappoint. Enter Twilight. I am not ready to dub this the next big thing, but if Harry Potter is the summer blockbuster of novels, then Twilight is the ridiculously successful viral internet campaign. In the course of a weekend, I barely beat out a Hollister wearing LDS twenty something for the last copy of the third Twilight novel at Wal-Mart at 7am. Now this was not even a new book, mind you. It was a newly released "special edition" which contains the first chapter of the fourth Twilight book. Tricky, eh? I watched as my wife's copy of the book made the rounds with four of my wife's friends in 24 hours. By the way, the movie will be released in December. The trailer preceded Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull.
If you pick up Twilight and take all of 10 seconds to read it's book jacket, you will find that this is a love story. With a vampire. Now wait, before you go running for your garlic and crosses as images of that freaky goth girl from fourth hour come flooding back to torment you, let me assuage your fears. While I am sure that some emo-tastic youths will use Twilight as the standard to which they will pin their hormone driven hopes and dreams, this novel does away with many of the gothic trappings of vampires that are likely to drive away the defenders of normalcy. Gone are their aversion to crosses, to daylight (at least in the traditional sense), and the traditional methods to do away with them. The concept of the vampire with a conscience is not new, but it is written here in a realistic enough way that it seems new and fresh.
Twilight is written from the viewpoint of it's heroine Isabella, or Bella, Swan. She is written in a way that is at once familiar and accessable. She's that smart girl you knew back in high school who was cute enough, but whose intangibles such as her sarcastic wit and keen intellect elevated her to something more. I envision her as the poster child for the emo-nation, brooding and hopeful, funny in a dead pan Steven Wright sort of way. For any of you Generation Xers out there, she's a hotter and more outgoing version of MTV's Daria.
Bella is new to Forks, Washington, the perfect setting for vampire love. You see, Forks is in the most overcast region in the U.S. As Bella gets her bearings in her new town, she makes friends, and is intrigued with a fashion model hot group of ousiders who are all members of the Cullen family. She notices that they keep to themselves, they have pale complexions, and their names are all a little out of place in the present day. Quite interesting. Hint, and a fairly major spoiler...
And if you don't know that the first moment they are introduced, you my friend, are an idiot. And if you don't know that Bella is going to fall for the super hot Edward, then I have some land in Florida to sell you. Yes, Twilight navigates it's efficient narrative with all the subtlety and nuance of a jackhammer at 3am. You will find no revolutionary plot twists, and any man card holders may have to temporarily relinquish them or have a corner cut off to make it through some parts, but in the end, Twilight turns out to be a rewarding read.
My recommendation for guys who are mildly curious, especially married guys, would be to give it a shot and chalk it up to research. I've been watching my wife tear through these books at a disturbing clip, and it is quite interesting to see what has her twitterpated. A word of warning, however. I did grow tired of after the two hundredth time or so reading about how Edward (vampire love muffin) was an Adonis, a God, how chiseled his perfectly formed chest is. I get it. He's hot. Let's get back to crushing vans in half.
Twilight earns three cloves of garlic from me out of four. It isn't exactly fast food, but as the commercials say, it's good food fast. There's plenty of romance for the ladies, some good action for the fellas, and enough innovations with vampiric lore to keep everything new.
Sunday, June 1, 2008
Since winning their fourth championship in the last 10 years, the San Antonio Spurs, those of the floptastic and uninspiring gameplay, have been lauded as the standard bearers of excellence among all professional sports franchises. Indeed, a Sports Illustrated cover from last year hailed them as such. Had the Patriots not executed the finest choke job of the modern sports era (in fact, has their been a bigger choke job ever? Eli Manning won the Super Bowl, for crying out loud!) perhaps they would have unceremoniously ripped the mantle from the Spurs, all the while Bill Belichick pointing and chanting "Nanny nanny boo boo, stick your head in doo doo NFL!" With the Patriots flopping like the Spurs, and the Spurs flopping against the Lakers like, well, also like the Spurs, the window has been opened for the most dominating team you have most likely never seen.
My journey with the Red Wings began during the 1994-1995 NHL season. Seinfeld was in full swing back when Thursday really was must see. Teenagers were just getting over the Seattle grunge movement, Dr. Dre was tearing up the radio, Napster was still a few years off, and a younger version of me was learning the ins and outs of one of the hottest extreme sports out there, before we even knew what extreme sports were. I was an in line skater. My buddy Bryan and I had been skating around Las Vegas for years, but were just finding out how enjoyable street hockey was. Of course, checks and hits produced scrapes and scars, because we were rarely smart enough to wear protective gear.
During this time, I realized Hockey was ultimate dopeness. Today's crazy teens might have called it "sick". Either way, I realized that I was going to have to follow the NHL, and that I would need a team. Being a native Las Vegan, I've had to poach my favorite teams from other cities. Steve Young made me a believer in the 49ers, and I have loved them since the Cowboys first beat them in the NFC championship. I followed one of my favorite UNLV players in Arman Gilliam to the NBA and have been a Phoenix Suns fan ever since. Hockey was a trickier proposition. I had no previous link to the sport, other than the fact that I was now going to be a fan. I had to choose my team well. During this process, I read in an SI article that talked about how the Detroit Red Wings were currently in the midst of the longest Stanley Cup draught (27 or 28 years, I believe it was) so there was compelling drama. They were an original six hockey team and they had been the team of Gordie Howe so they had tradition. They had sweet unis, which any of my friends will tell you is extremely important to me. Lastly, they threw octopi on the ice during the playoffs, symbolizing the number of wins required to win the Stanley Cup in the original playoff format. When I realized that I could be a hockey fan AND piss off PETA at the same time, I was sold.
You can see then, why this bitter and disenfranchised Suns fan has had the chance for ultimate redemption during one of the best times in all of pro sports, when basketball and hockey frolic for a rollicking month, and thrust un-reality TV back to the depths from which it sprung. The Red Wings are en route to another Stanley Cup, and the Spurs, the previous gold standard for pro sports, will reluctantly lose their tenuous grip on the unofficial title of "most successful pro franchise".
So, why will the mantle of greatest pro franchise be unceremoniously ripped from the San Antonio Spurs by the Detroit Red Wings? Let's compare the franchises. First, obviously, the most important measure by which any franchise should be considered, number of titles won.
Friday, May 30, 2008
1) I hate the Spurs almost more that I like the Suns.
2) In another life, I would have chosen to be a reviewer. A reviewer of things.
3) I read cnn.com a lot.
4) My church basketball team went undefeated and won the stake championship
5) I once went to a wax museum and since that day, have used the pictures I took to add a certain panache to my blog
So, to that special Spur hating, review loving, liberal news reading, championship winning, wax museum visiting internet browsing niche that I have been targeting all of my life, I say thank you. You are the reason I slave over this html shrine once every fifth or sixth day for 10-15 minutes. We salute you. And by we, I mean me.
Sunday, May 25, 2008
Thursday, May 22, 2008
I think that as I do reviews, I may have to sell the sponsorship rights to my dear Mom. This past weekend, with my wife and kids off on an adventure to Utah, my parents invited me out to dinner and a movie. Never one to turn down free food (or almost anything), I graciously accepted. The movie was a rental that I hadn't heard of. "The Orphanage". A horror film. Dead orphans stalking the living? How could we go wrong!
There are things that are scary, and there are things that are terrifying. Scary is someone in a mask wielding a meat cleaver. Terror, however, true mortifying, oppressive horror, goes deeper. It preys on our deepest fears. El Orfanato takes one of the most overlooked yet painful and terrifying scenarios imaginable. The unexplained loss of a child. As a parent, I can personally attest that the scariest eight minutes of my life, was when guests staying with us unloaded their van with our front door open for a good 10 minutes. In the ensuing chaos, no one had noticed that our little 1 and a half year old had wandered outside. After a time, my wife and I both came to the realization that neither of us had seen our youngest in some time. We both assumed the other had put her down for a nap. Ghastly scenarios swirled around my head. As I tore through the rooms in our house and back yard, I wondered if I might fight her having fallen from a high ledge, or face down in our 10 dollar kiddie pool. I will never forget running up our street, crying out frantically her name while barefoot, only to look back over my shoulder to see my wife sobbing with our little girl in her arms. She was playing in the rocks of our neighbor's yard. I have never cried like I did when we found her.
Now that you have no doubt called Child Protective Services, I had better finish this quickly before they come knocking at our door. The Orphanage, Spain's Oscar nominated foreign language film, takes us through this same scenario with a supernatural twist. The central characters in this haunting, frightening, heartbreaking, and ultimately uplifting (!?!) film are Laura and her son Simon. In the early goings of the film, we learn that Laura, an orphan herself, has purchased with her husband the titular orphanage where she grew up, with the intention of creating a special type of home for children where she, her husband, and adopted son Simon will also live. During the closing, however, apparently no one disclosed the dark history of the property, and of course, the obviously gifted and imaginative Simon begins to see and play with special friends. They teach him how to play a special game, where the winner is granted any wish they desire.
To give away much past this would be a disservice to this finely crafted story, but needless to say, Simon disappears mysteriously and without a trace. The rest of the story is Laura's quest to find the truth about her son's disappearance, while simultaneously unearthing her homes dark and guarded secrets. This trite description is as underwhelming as The Orphanage is powerful.
The plausability of the movie rests squarely upon the shoulders of Laura, played with ease by Belen Rueda. A bad note in her performance would bring this melancholy symphony to a grinding halt, yet she deftly undulates between frantic desperation and cautious hope. Her range is amazing as she channels the viewers' worst fears and dread. As anyone will agree by the end of the movie, she is called upon for such a broad range of emotion from beginning to climax, that you half expect her to be panting and breathless by the last frame. The story is an amalgamation of two of my very favorite tales, an oft overlooked novel by Orson Scott Card called Lost Boys, and the standard by which the modern suspense/horror movie is judged, The Sixth Sense. Viewers will no doubt draw comparisons between this and The Sixth Sense, but rest assured, there is more than enough original content here for the material to feel very fresh. Indeed, this is the first movie I have seen since Haley Joel Osmont saw dead people that had such an "Ah ha!" moment, that I almost immediately put it back in for a second viewing. I would not be surprised if others after coming to the conclusion immediately retraced the movie's winding course once again to see if, as M. Night Shamalan did so long ago, the movie followed it's own rules.
The Orphanage is rated R, but after having viewed it (indeed, a very naughty thing) I cannot fathom it's rating. Aside from it's overall opressive and grim atmosphere (and tense moments) viewers will find themselves witness to a very shocking car crash (with brief graphic intensity) but little else along the lines of viseral gore, and one F bomb. Of course, if you have any question, do not see it, and obviously, this is NOT one for the kids.
I give The Orphanage four out of four...orphans? Adoption papers? I dunno, I can't come up with anything good, except for the admonition that you should see this movie.
Saturday, May 10, 2008
Sunday, May 4, 2008
Thursday, May 1, 2008
I found this article today on CNN's website. I don't necessarily frequent CNN.com because it is the greatest reporting, but it is an easy web address to remember, and it is pretty funny to see what passes for news nowadays. The other week, no kidding, Martha Stewart's dog dying was a top story. But I digress.
Anyways, I like to peruse the op-ed's of CNN correspondents (I have to say, I think they have fairly good representation from a variety of political ideologies. FAIRLY good, not great) and I came across one piece that I found myself mostly agreeing with.
For those too lazy to haz clik (click on the link, to my English speaking friends) it basically illustrates where demonstrators go wrong when they are trying to fight for more rights for illegal immigrants.
"I don't buy this argument that there was no racism or acrimony in the immigration debate until the protests started. Get real. Those things have been present in every immigration debate for more than 200 years. Of course, they were going to be part of this one.
That isn't to say that a lot of people don't see red when they see protesters do things like waving the Mexican flag. They do. As tactics go, that's a foolish one: demanding rights of one country while showing allegiance to another. It's bad manners -- and bad civics. "
Thank you! I finally figured out what bothered me about protests and marches for immigrant rights. I have to tell you, I'm a fairly level headed and moderate kind of guy. I lived in Mexico for 2 years for heavens sake! These protests were not supposed to bother me. But they did! And why? Because, gosh, we're in the U.S., and if you want more rights, don't talk about how great the place you came from is, talk about how much you love it here, and how much you'd like more of your people to have that opportunity.
Last time I checked we were a sovereign nation here, governed by the rule of law. I think we're allowed to determine what our policy towards immigration is, and just because we have an immigration policy, that doesn't mean we are racist. It's like we're your older brother to the north. Just because we don't want to let you in our room while we play Xbox and listen to Metallica, don't get mad at us. It's our room, and we decide when to let you in. We still love you though, and if you're cool with us, we'll let you come and play Halo 3 eventually.
It is just a simple fact, we cannot take in everyone. Logistically, it is impossible. But let's get this thing straightened out, let's get more immigrants legal, not with amnesty, but with a way to work towards legal citizenship while incurring some sort of penalty.
Another true story, as a missionary in Tijuana, we taught and baptized a really great guy, but when we came back to invite him to church the next week, his wife let us know that he was gone. We were dumbfounded. Where did he go? Well, he got baptized to help his chances to jump the border. And apparently, we were pretty good missionaries, because it worked. We didn't see him again for a few months. Why do I share this story? If you saw where this family lived, you wouldn't have blamed him one bit for trying to jump. However, I truly believe that jumping the border is not the solution for more than the short term. "Give us your tired, your poor, your huddled masses". Amen. Absolutely. But, as you consider the decision to leave Mexico, the question must be asked, where can you best serve your country. You are needed to fight another fight. The government of Mexico, not the U.S. is the real monster here. I think that one protestor got it right.
"Cesar (a protestor)...blasted the Mexican government for allowing this kind of inequity to occur. That is who the immigrants should be picketing with their marches, he said, instead of wasting their time demanding rights and privileges from the United States. It was time to go home, he said, and fight the battle for fairness, dignity, and economic justice where it might do some good -- on Mexican soil.(quotation added by me) "
(Just for good measure, google Mexico's southern border policy and you might just get some interesting hits.)
I don't know who you are Cesar, or what you're doing. Possibly waving an American flag in a country you love, while figuring out how you can help your fellow countrymen back home in your native land. All I can say, my man, is amen Cesar, amen.
Que dios les bendiga en la lucha de libertad.
Or the hate.
Just write something.
(and thanks to the people who have already left comments, your insights and commentary are appreciated)
Wednesday, April 30, 2008
"When I hear your new ideas, I'm reminded of that ad, 'Where's the beef?'"
Where's the beef. That's right, Mondale countered with a popular catch phrase from this Wendy's add campaign.
Who can forget Michael Dukakis' famous tank ride to assuage fears that he might not be strong enough militarily:
I don't know about you, but he looked about as comfortable in that tank as Elton John would be at a Scores nightclub. Now, these were some pretty good examples of good old fashioned baby kissing pandering, but this year, our current crop of presidential candidates have really taken it to a new level, as illustrated in this recent bit to promote WWE Monday Night Raw:
Holy mother of pearl! That just takes the cake! Now, I'm all for flag pins, embarrassing catch phrases, brazenly irrational declarations of war against Iran (thanks Hillary!), but I have to say, in 100,000 years, I never thought I would see the candidates, hoping to take the office of the most powerful person in the free world, on WWE Raw. Unbelievable. I'm reminded of the phrase "elitist" being bandied about as though it were a bad thing. Personally, I want my president so many times smarter than me it cannot be measured. I want a president that has been successful in just about everything that they do. I hope that they would have the saavy and business sense to be millionaires many times over. I want a president that has been toughened cultured, and refined.
And with all respect to wrestling fans (I've watched my share to be sure) I'd like my presidential candidate to steer clear from debacles like this, like, well, like Elton John steering clear of Scores.